Part three, and probably the last one for Innistrad block.
Let me know what you think!
Saturday, June 2, 2012
Why Wouldn't You Design That? Volume 1, Part 3
Disclaimer: This article contains custom card
designs. If you are a Wizards of the Coast employee you have my full
permission to use any designs or ideas within this article without my
explicit written consent or prior knowledge, or without giving me
any sort of credit. I love this game and I want to help it in any
way I can.
Part three, and probably the last one for Innistrad block.
Let me know what you think!
Seems like a fairly obvious design choice to me. Though honestly, this very well may be way too good at 3 cmc.
Full on friendship!
It tells a story! Yeah!!!
This was originally a mirror image of Wretched Banquet, but it seemed way too good at 1 mana.
Ghoultree is a neat card. While I don't think it's a particularly deep design space, I do think its worth more than two cards.
I love sliths. So much. So naturally, Innistrad block was a fun place for me. Falkenrath Maruaders and Markov Blademaster are nice expansions on the typical Slith formula, but I want to see them take it to its logical conclusion.
Part three, and probably the last one for Innistrad block.
Let me know what you think!
Monday, May 28, 2012
Aria, the Blood Witch
Aria had lead a privileged life. The daughter of a well-to-do
noble deep in the province of Stensia, there was very little she did not
have access to. The best clothes, the best food, any manner of
entertainment accessible. She was born into more money than most people
on Innistrad could count to. Everything most people could ever hope for
was provided for her on a platter.
Her parents were quick to remind her that she was special, that she was destined for greater things than most. And she believed it; how could she not? Her family brought in the best tutors for her, she excelled in every subject. Foreign languages, history, mathematics, magic, and even the alchemy that the prudes in the capital would call heresy. There was nothing that she could not do. She was clearly better than everyone else.
Everything changed on the eve of her sixteenth birthday. She was greeted in the ballroom by half of the village. Nobles and bankers and clerics. Everyone of import from her village. But something was wrong. As she walked into the room, some of them began to shimmer, an illusion was fading. Their skin paled, and their eyes began to softly glow above sharp, crooked smiles. Many of them were vampires.
They informed her that she had her family was part of a project, she had been bred specifically for the purposes of being integrated into a vampire clan. Her entire life up to this point had been planned to the every last detail, to create someone of significance that would lift their clan out of the shadows, or at the very least provide a tasty snack. They assured her that would love it with them.
As the patriarch approached her, her world collapsed around her. Had her whole life been a lie? Had she ever made a single choice for herself? Was she actually as smart and strong and wonderful as she thought herself to be, or were those all pleasant lies to keep her complacent. She was horrified. She was enraged. She began to cry. Nothing made any sense anymore.
He assured her that she would come around. "Welcome to the family", was the last thing she remembered before she passed out from shock of the bite upon her neck.
Aria awoke in a cell. They did not want their investment escaping before she turned, it would seem. She spent the next three days in a a stupor. Her mind wracked with doubts about her life up until now, being whispered with propaganda from her captors, about how they were once one of the twelve great families, and her and others like her would raise them from their squalor, and her body slowly undergoing the transformation.
In three days time, her sire returned, the final stage was prepared. He cut himself, and filled a fine goblet with his blood. She could smell it, everything she had eaten since her bite tastes increasingly like ash in her mouth. That which was in the goblet smelled more wonderful than anything she had ever experienced in her entire lifetime. She gulped it down in a single breath.
Almost instantly, she felt better. The doubts and fears and regrets that had flooded her mind were still there, but now they felt dimmer, more far away. They could not hurt her now. She had clarity and purpose now. She turned towards her sire, and approached.
"What was it you said? 'Welcome to the family?'" She brought her hand up and brushed his cheek, and then plunged her fist up to her elbow through his chest.
"I don't like my family very much."
What little color was in his face faded almost immediately, the contorted look on his face stuck there as he died. Guards rushed into the room to see what was the clamor, and she dispatched them just as quickly with her magic. It was much stronger now.
She stood there , in the bloodstained room. The puddles of blood glistened softly, reflecting the moonlight. She observed her reflection, horrible and distorted. A monster. She felt like a monster. But she was her own monster.
She would be no one's thrall. No one's puppet. No one's convenient lie. She would not live a second longer a cog in someone else's machine. She had been raised to be special, and now she was. She knew in her heart that now she truly was. And with this insight, she was whisked away. Her spark ignited, taking a monster away to planes unknown.
Appearance
Aria was a stunningly attractive specimen before turning, as to be expected of someone chosen to be sired. Her figure is somewhat understated as she had not finished growing into herself before turning, a point that irritates her profoundly that she will not be "mature" for a very long time, given vampire's slow aging. She has long, straight, crimson hair that flows down to her chest. Her nails are long and somewhat unkempt. Her clothes are tattered and matted with blood, but were quite splendid once. She thinks very little of her physical appearance, and it shows.
Aria is spoiled rotten, being raised as the only daughter of a wealthy nobleman. She had spent her entire life not only being told that she was better than most, but actually being taught to be so. She is incredibly well verse in etiquette, language, history, weaponry, science, and magic; though most that meet her would not suspect as much because she doesn't like to talk about her past and she prefers living impulsively in the moment. She is of poor temperament and is quickly prone to violence and aggression. She deeply hates being lied to, deceived, or being told what to do, and doing any of those things is the fastest way to get on her bad side. She eats who she wants when she wants, and cares not for the consequences; she feels like having the life she knew taken away from her entitles her to get away with most anything.
She has a bittersweet relationship with her vampiric condition. She truly enjoys the power and freedom that it affords her, but she's bitter and resentful about her origins. Sometimes she sinks into a deep depression about how inconsequential most of the choices she made during her human life were, and wonders if anything has really changed. She tends to get even more violent during these periods. She will often seek out and drain someone who is happy to make herself feel better.
She claims that she is not above turning others, but she has yet to ever do so. It is quite likely that she considers draining someone to death as a form of "mercy", that they are better off dead than a monster like herself. One of her very few redeeming qualities.
She does not like to admit it, but she is not a particularly happy woman, but she lacks the forethought to make any drastic changes to improve her life.
Powers
She is well versed in sangromancy. She can take command of blood spilled in battle and shape it as she wishes into weapons and shields and any shape she desires. She has dabbled in other forms of vampire magic such as shape-shifting, glamer, and hypnosis; but none of them have taken particularly well, preferring the brute force approach of her blood magic.
She can draw strength from her foes from wounds she has inflicted upon them or even from her very presence. If she has drawn your blood in battle, woe upon you, for she can easily aggravate the condition with very little effort . She can extend such powers to those in her vacinity, but such alliances are few and far between and only for the sake of convenience rather than a lasting desire for camaraderie.
Flight was the first vampire power she put any effort towards, and she has become quite accomplished at it since she has turned. She is immesnly fond of it, and the times she flies are among the very few times that she is truly happy. Her problems and doubts seems so far away and inconsequential when she is in the air.
This is my entry into the Gleemax forums "Planeswalker Creation Contest 3; round 3, female villains"
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29110815/?sdb=1&pg=last#520180087
I'd love to hear what you think and to get your vote!
Her parents were quick to remind her that she was special, that she was destined for greater things than most. And she believed it; how could she not? Her family brought in the best tutors for her, she excelled in every subject. Foreign languages, history, mathematics, magic, and even the alchemy that the prudes in the capital would call heresy. There was nothing that she could not do. She was clearly better than everyone else.
Everything changed on the eve of her sixteenth birthday. She was greeted in the ballroom by half of the village. Nobles and bankers and clerics. Everyone of import from her village. But something was wrong. As she walked into the room, some of them began to shimmer, an illusion was fading. Their skin paled, and their eyes began to softly glow above sharp, crooked smiles. Many of them were vampires.
They informed her that she had her family was part of a project, she had been bred specifically for the purposes of being integrated into a vampire clan. Her entire life up to this point had been planned to the every last detail, to create someone of significance that would lift their clan out of the shadows, or at the very least provide a tasty snack. They assured her that would love it with them.
As the patriarch approached her, her world collapsed around her. Had her whole life been a lie? Had she ever made a single choice for herself? Was she actually as smart and strong and wonderful as she thought herself to be, or were those all pleasant lies to keep her complacent. She was horrified. She was enraged. She began to cry. Nothing made any sense anymore.
He assured her that she would come around. "Welcome to the family", was the last thing she remembered before she passed out from shock of the bite upon her neck.
Aria awoke in a cell. They did not want their investment escaping before she turned, it would seem. She spent the next three days in a a stupor. Her mind wracked with doubts about her life up until now, being whispered with propaganda from her captors, about how they were once one of the twelve great families, and her and others like her would raise them from their squalor, and her body slowly undergoing the transformation.
In three days time, her sire returned, the final stage was prepared. He cut himself, and filled a fine goblet with his blood. She could smell it, everything she had eaten since her bite tastes increasingly like ash in her mouth. That which was in the goblet smelled more wonderful than anything she had ever experienced in her entire lifetime. She gulped it down in a single breath.
Almost instantly, she felt better. The doubts and fears and regrets that had flooded her mind were still there, but now they felt dimmer, more far away. They could not hurt her now. She had clarity and purpose now. She turned towards her sire, and approached.
"What was it you said? 'Welcome to the family?'" She brought her hand up and brushed his cheek, and then plunged her fist up to her elbow through his chest.
"I don't like my family very much."
What little color was in his face faded almost immediately, the contorted look on his face stuck there as he died. Guards rushed into the room to see what was the clamor, and she dispatched them just as quickly with her magic. It was much stronger now.
She stood there , in the bloodstained room. The puddles of blood glistened softly, reflecting the moonlight. She observed her reflection, horrible and distorted. A monster. She felt like a monster. But she was her own monster.
She would be no one's thrall. No one's puppet. No one's convenient lie. She would not live a second longer a cog in someone else's machine. She had been raised to be special, and now she was. She knew in her heart that now she truly was. And with this insight, she was whisked away. Her spark ignited, taking a monster away to planes unknown.
Appearance
Aria was a stunningly attractive specimen before turning, as to be expected of someone chosen to be sired. Her figure is somewhat understated as she had not finished growing into herself before turning, a point that irritates her profoundly that she will not be "mature" for a very long time, given vampire's slow aging. She has long, straight, crimson hair that flows down to her chest. Her nails are long and somewhat unkempt. Her clothes are tattered and matted with blood, but were quite splendid once. She thinks very little of her physical appearance, and it shows.
Aria is spoiled rotten, being raised as the only daughter of a wealthy nobleman. She had spent her entire life not only being told that she was better than most, but actually being taught to be so. She is incredibly well verse in etiquette, language, history, weaponry, science, and magic; though most that meet her would not suspect as much because she doesn't like to talk about her past and she prefers living impulsively in the moment. She is of poor temperament and is quickly prone to violence and aggression. She deeply hates being lied to, deceived, or being told what to do, and doing any of those things is the fastest way to get on her bad side. She eats who she wants when she wants, and cares not for the consequences; she feels like having the life she knew taken away from her entitles her to get away with most anything.
She has a bittersweet relationship with her vampiric condition. She truly enjoys the power and freedom that it affords her, but she's bitter and resentful about her origins. Sometimes she sinks into a deep depression about how inconsequential most of the choices she made during her human life were, and wonders if anything has really changed. She tends to get even more violent during these periods. She will often seek out and drain someone who is happy to make herself feel better.
She claims that she is not above turning others, but she has yet to ever do so. It is quite likely that she considers draining someone to death as a form of "mercy", that they are better off dead than a monster like herself. One of her very few redeeming qualities.
She does not like to admit it, but she is not a particularly happy woman, but she lacks the forethought to make any drastic changes to improve her life.
Powers
She is well versed in sangromancy. She can take command of blood spilled in battle and shape it as she wishes into weapons and shields and any shape she desires. She has dabbled in other forms of vampire magic such as shape-shifting, glamer, and hypnosis; but none of them have taken particularly well, preferring the brute force approach of her blood magic.
She can draw strength from her foes from wounds she has inflicted upon them or even from her very presence. If she has drawn your blood in battle, woe upon you, for she can easily aggravate the condition with very little effort . She can extend such powers to those in her vacinity, but such alliances are few and far between and only for the sake of convenience rather than a lasting desire for camaraderie.
Flight was the first vampire power she put any effort towards, and she has become quite accomplished at it since she has turned. She is immesnly fond of it, and the times she flies are among the very few times that she is truly happy. Her problems and doubts seems so far away and inconsequential when she is in the air.
This is my entry into the Gleemax forums "Planeswalker Creation Contest 3; round 3, female villains"
http://community.wizards.com/go/thread/view/75842/29110815/?sdb=1&pg=last#520180087
I'd love to hear what you think and to get your vote!
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Why Wouldn't You Design That? Volume 1, Part 2
DESIGN
Disclaimer: This article contains custom card designs. If you are a Wizards of the Coast employee you have my full permission to use any designs or ideas within this article without my explicit written consent or prior knowledge, or without giving me any sort of credit. I love this game and I want to help it in any way I can.
PART TWO!
I'm not sure if you've realized, but there are no green curses. This was actually an accident, it just never happened. This is a travesty!
Those are all the most obvious (to me) things I might have done differently. I'd love to hear what you think, or what YOU would do differently!
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Why Wouldn't You Design That? Volume 1, part 1
Welcome all!
Here's the first part in what I hope will be a recurring series, what I am calling "Why Wouldn't You Design That?", wherein I throw out what I think were some unfortunately missed tropes that the current block could have hit on.
DESIGN
Disclaimer: This article contains custom card designs. If you are a Wizards of the Coast employee you have my full permission to use any designs or ideas within this article without my explicit written consent or prior knowledge, or without giving me any sort of credit. I love this game and I want to help it in any way I can.
Let's get started!
The 13 theme. I think this takes it to the most logical extreme. Let's get it!
One of the greatest flaws of Innistrad is that it had a particularly rich catalog of characters that were built up through all of the style guides, and there is only so much room for legendary creatures in each set. Although, creative always builds up a surplus of story material so they have more examples to draw potential designs from, so this could merely be speaking highly of Innistrad's awesome flavor more than a R&D dropping the ball.
More green miracles. Seriously. I love the two that we have, but every other color got INSANE cards, and all green gets is pump spells. I feel betrayed. ):
Not much to say here. Obvious extensions of several recurring themes.
Push the loner theme in constructed. Many of the loner cards are super interesting, but most of them don't seem quite good enough for constructed, and while I doubt it had what it takes to become top tier, I feel like the theme had an appalling lack of constructed viable edge that many other themes from sets past have had. Plus, come on, look at that card, that's an awesome design and you know it!
There's more to come, but let me know what you think!!!
Here's the first part in what I hope will be a recurring series, what I am calling "Why Wouldn't You Design That?", wherein I throw out what I think were some unfortunately missed tropes that the current block could have hit on.
DESIGN
Disclaimer: This article contains custom card designs. If you are a Wizards of the Coast employee you have my full permission to use any designs or ideas within this article without my explicit written consent or prior knowledge, or without giving me any sort of credit. I love this game and I want to help it in any way I can.
Let's get started!
More green miracles. Seriously. I love the two that we have, but every other color got INSANE cards, and all green gets is pump spells. I feel betrayed. ):
Push the loner theme in constructed. Many of the loner cards are super interesting, but most of them don't seem quite good enough for constructed, and while I doubt it had what it takes to become top tier, I feel like the theme had an appalling lack of constructed viable edge that many other themes from sets past have had. Plus, come on, look at that card, that's an awesome design and you know it!
There's more to come, but let me know what you think!!!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Silverfawn the Seedsower
Silverfawn was born on a desecated husk of a world. It had been like
that for generations. Some horrible cataclysm had broken the plane's
mana flow and each passing year more and more life leaked from the plane
without new life to restore it. Her plane was dying.
She was born into a tribe of Kor, venerable nomads intrinsicly tied to the land. Even they could not fathom the cause of the drought, much less a solution. Their best shamans and scholars had tried and failed for generations to come up with an answer that might not even exist, though they continued to search.
Her particular tribe had a coming of age ceremony. When a child became pubescent, they were sent into the wild to commune with the spirits of nature. They would encounter a particular spirit, which would bestow upon them the greatest gift of all, their name, and when they returned they were considered an adult by the tribe, and enjoyed all the rights and priveledges that entailed.
Naturally, with the encreasing entrophy of the plane, each passing year these rites of passage yielded fewer and fewer communes with the spirits. Many children returned empty handed, no different than when they left. Some, too filled with shame to return without speaking to a spirit, simply did not, and were never heard from again.
Even in Silverfawn's generation, they kept up the ritual, mostly out of a newly twisted tradition that said that should a child return having communed with a spirit for the first time in generations, that child would becoe a prophet, their to lead their world out of the jaws of death.
Within a month of her thirteenth birthday, Silverfawn was sent into the wild. She was afraid. She had heard all the stories growing up, and was filled with worries that should yet again let her people down. She wandered for days on end until her food and water supplies dwindled, and still she tread on. She became weak and dehydrated and collapsed. Teetering on the verge of death, she slipped into unconciousness, and dreamt.
Then a miracle happened, she heard a voice. She opened her eyes, and there before her stood an enormous deer slowing silver like the stars at night. It told her that it was she that was destined to save her world, because she was the first child of that plane in generations to receive a rare gift, a Planeswalker's spark. The same sort of spark, she was told, that had blighted her world in the first place.
When she awoke, she found herself not of her world. She knew her life's purpose. And so she has wandered the planes, learning any manner of magics she could manage to learn. Trying to discover the solution that would return life to her lifeless world.
Silverfawn began her existence almost a year ago, designed as a mono-green dryad character.
Ultimately, she was kind of boring as a character. It's hard to write for AND design for mono-green walkers. I dropped her and didn't give her a second thought.
Cue a couple of weeks ago, I'm on spring break, and I come to the conclusion that the Mad Doctor story was kind of cool. I decide I should do more of that sort of thing.
Doing a series of them based on Planeswalker characters I could design ultimately seemed like an obvious choice.
An idea came to me of a 'Johnny Appleseed' type character, and I started writing Silverfawn's backstory, then the time came to build a card. I remembered my boring dryad character. It dawned on me that all of her abilities (minus the ramping) worked equally well in white as well as green. Hell, even white is allowed the occasional land searching, so even that didn't seem too much of a stretch.
And thus, Silverfawn.
I recently entered her in a Planeswalker design contest on the Gleemax forums!
The theme is children walkers, come join us!
She was born into a tribe of Kor, venerable nomads intrinsicly tied to the land. Even they could not fathom the cause of the drought, much less a solution. Their best shamans and scholars had tried and failed for generations to come up with an answer that might not even exist, though they continued to search.
Her particular tribe had a coming of age ceremony. When a child became pubescent, they were sent into the wild to commune with the spirits of nature. They would encounter a particular spirit, which would bestow upon them the greatest gift of all, their name, and when they returned they were considered an adult by the tribe, and enjoyed all the rights and priveledges that entailed.
Naturally, with the encreasing entrophy of the plane, each passing year these rites of passage yielded fewer and fewer communes with the spirits. Many children returned empty handed, no different than when they left. Some, too filled with shame to return without speaking to a spirit, simply did not, and were never heard from again.
Even in Silverfawn's generation, they kept up the ritual, mostly out of a newly twisted tradition that said that should a child return having communed with a spirit for the first time in generations, that child would becoe a prophet, their to lead their world out of the jaws of death.
Within a month of her thirteenth birthday, Silverfawn was sent into the wild. She was afraid. She had heard all the stories growing up, and was filled with worries that should yet again let her people down. She wandered for days on end until her food and water supplies dwindled, and still she tread on. She became weak and dehydrated and collapsed. Teetering on the verge of death, she slipped into unconciousness, and dreamt.
Then a miracle happened, she heard a voice. She opened her eyes, and there before her stood an enormous deer slowing silver like the stars at night. It told her that it was she that was destined to save her world, because she was the first child of that plane in generations to receive a rare gift, a Planeswalker's spark. The same sort of spark, she was told, that had blighted her world in the first place.
When she awoke, she found herself not of her world. She knew her life's purpose. And so she has wandered the planes, learning any manner of magics she could manage to learn. Trying to discover the solution that would return life to her lifeless world.
Silverfawn began her existence almost a year ago, designed as a mono-green dryad character.
Ultimately, she was kind of boring as a character. It's hard to write for AND design for mono-green walkers. I dropped her and didn't give her a second thought.
Cue a couple of weeks ago, I'm on spring break, and I come to the conclusion that the Mad Doctor story was kind of cool. I decide I should do more of that sort of thing.
Doing a series of them based on Planeswalker characters I could design ultimately seemed like an obvious choice.
An idea came to me of a 'Johnny Appleseed' type character, and I started writing Silverfawn's backstory, then the time came to build a card. I remembered my boring dryad character. It dawned on me that all of her abilities (minus the ramping) worked equally well in white as well as green. Hell, even white is allowed the occasional land searching, so even that didn't seem too much of a stretch.
And thus, Silverfawn.
I recently entered her in a Planeswalker design contest on the Gleemax forums!
The theme is children walkers, come join us!
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
behind the scenes of the Mad Doctor
So it's been a while since my last post, and since my last article was more about flavor than design, I thought I should spend some time talking about the designs themselves.
Let's get started!
http://hairlessthoctar.blogspot.com/2012/04/mad-doctor.html
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPgFXEV6F_cme_wEB-u-nQjw7Zas-cizd7jNyd7V-2Ptu6xXTPW5agryBKzONf1pofi6mrpIOa-RaVfGnYlvVxKG6ViAC1sciWzM1Q8MNRj0Wqm5vPfJdSuTqPmxMNo4atEA92w7YK-qw/s1600/Avacynian+Scribe.jpg
Avacynian Scribe was simple enough.
White is the best weenie color and every color has access to cantrips.
As a designer I'm also on something of a crusade to get card draw in all five colors to some degree. It's just such an enormous and ubiquitous part of the game, that I don't really think it's fair to certain colors to have a monopoly on it.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL2RcgUNYog0bpA1tCeYwdtjWby9mcgspIPrSUCLsy76-DKukUpPlWwgmYEc17RBCrCaH7dZYwQjla7be1dx6F1OELQ_5X8v6YMIcyoIOC4gtQdMkElHSGHYaIVOyZD0BS_3qT-n4uFbI/s1600/Geralf+the+Stitcher.jpg
Geralf the Stitcher was a super easy design.
"All creatures are skaabs"
Bam. Done.
I will admit that 3 is probably way too low a CMC for such a powerful effect.
It should probably be at least 4, or have a heavier color weight.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjHWSl0jte4xRxo3RaFp5msTklsloIdk0jwldFVAC9El-Rnl3e9XgD67cdIk7myO39zhoLNeOY_kwl7z6aDS9ChOfd155oFR3BSLPVnYtVQxdTJpdtEpd-umkVs98r6N4Ku-HkDarRLcY/s1600/Gisa+the+Ghoulcaller.jpg
Since my original article went up, Avacyn Restored has come out.
In the set, Gisa is featured on a number of flavor texts, each time going by the moniker "Gisa the Mad".
That's the least of my problems.
I came up with design having totally forgotten that Coffin Queen is a thing. Which is weird because that card is super cool (and something that is sore need for a reprint).
In light of that, I'm rather disappointed in myself.
Coffin Queen has a pretty unique functionality, and I feel that it is fairly costed, and not necessarily an effect that needs to exist in plurality.
At some point, once I've written enough articles, I plan to do a "What would I do today?" article here I go over old card designs with what I've learned and say how I would do them differently.
By then, I plan to have something more satisfying.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd7p_qXECFXkzn8z31HspQavEW-H4p4YQI-QDy_CKV_86-G6uLu0R6wgnSTeA4c_yGVnL38RAyWyjXCcM5wyZGMBP3R3co84LYxhTdtmvzSBAYU3qIB00GwJxxy8c3g9o6mM0cnZt2wjk/s1600/Alchemist.jpg
Alchemist.
I'm not sure it's a design that 'needs' to exist, but It was one I was interested in exploring.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlaaLvkynp5-jjxTLV2thAhEenXEydeU-oPze1JJvWlNP9nTxPNpmAmeTrHI1P8rQW7BrcunDY4pKuhEVQYG3ms3CpC00JFpfOk7juX1f10HkT6sFvLZgXGFd2d6rkQPdItUahyocB3_Q/s1600/Treacherous+Alchemy.jpg
Treacherous Alchemy.
In my first article I mentioned how I feel that restriction free tutoring feels more blue than black to me. To that end, I felt I should do a blue equivalent of the current default tutor, Diabolic Tutor. But I didn't want to do a straight reprint of Diabolic, that would be boring.
So, since blue tends to favor working at instant speed, I made it work at instant speed, but have the infrequently used "top of the library" clause so that the power level is comparable to the slower but "into your hand" effect of Diabolic.
I'd love to see how the two would compare in the real.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOWiEXBqnZ9iIHlsshxGuP88mdctePFmzXS9XSTzTc1_-z246HMu6APm0BTy2x_nd2-2PYl_L3AKnA4_Oq72Dj95O2zmFxqkWHxHJOX4YPYvvNTDAthzJBaw2wR41_mHjBm3fY8wNeR4Q/s1600/Bewitching+Wall.jpg
Bewitching Wall.
I think Gomazoa is neat.
So I made another.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvkhP2EX3mL2O7zyTUpnYcAtsEVcp1c7rnp2g1PIaIDruUPb40uuC_sii0QtnPCHGDIbCLVvCh84k0yF0LNw8yaxgJzxmTvORAr1DiftITS33tKmpbfRw6Da6XZ5Vw_UqHfI3COesUnBc/s1600/Geistflame+Lantern.jpg
Geistflame Lantern.
As a proponent of fatties, I enjoy manarocks.
I did this as a a bottom up of a mana rock that cares about creatures dying, since that's a pretty ubiquitous effect in Innistrad.
I'm not sure the last ability needs to remove the counters AND sac though, the card is crazy wordy as is.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAfoOFGUhEC6fJzr1u0ODMNOuGyoltIiZsYarKagTy5F-UdF0QWuMbd0d-4d6RIkhyyjT3L6X8a8IxMml1W37Whl8ppuI6femJsPvY-wM-BYIVXeY3uaDQ_O901mzp4g0txiE5NkoZHfE/s1600/Open+Sewer.jpg
Open Sewer
Rats of Rath intrigues me.
So I wanted to see what other effects in the same vein I could explore.
This is what I came up with.
I came up with some designs that I think are more interesting and/or powerful, but this was by far the most straightforward design. Going with the simplest execution of a design is a skill that I think more would be Magic designers need to embrace.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrN1b9kF0-Pj1oRfEdd_kPl7r2oH1b2CeAXmObLMbahI1JMtQDhwPegvLHRvQuIsV6vgD1i7U_rPVd5qy1A3ZL0UIjY5G1ByjzqpONkG3fhEFSLI05JkjtrGH5WWDVGrs3uKNJ4SZOm7g/s1600/Nothing+is+Scarier.jpg
Nothing is Scarier.
Black has a sort of neat relationship with enchantments. It (and red) are allowed to have very powerful, very aggressively costed enchantments with bad downsides. Why is this? Because red and black are the only two colors that lack the capacity to interact with non-aura enchantments on the battlefield. Because of this, they can't offset the bad downsides of their enchantments (oh say, Phyrexian Arena) by destroying them later the same way that green or white or blue could.
So here's a "nothing can block" effect.
I just realized that this kind of mimics cards like Razorjaw Oni.
Cool beans.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaH1XognJa2dRQ8RFGVk4BxPKllI1b33pdk-yhX523bKoutv86mWwV6mPUTOPG9-wTpO8-1AoOqfIweAdSjG9tA86hQn9QuEik19M6q5FiWz1x1sREHbVaTrJnuTi9Lvp3x2jvmPuDxlM/s1600/Reflection.jpg
Reflection is the top-downsiest card I've ever made. Nuff said.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWl-6bAUBpeLszD-MG3MNEzuMFtRbAWUwjAI_brcOfPfobSYpNcSb2jfPQJCQejWowu2uVvlxF64P73s5DeohGHfe9mnwIuNqUs4SmzYywtC_y1ss-5WeEtsxyQIPKC3lDjG5rn1voHgQ/s1600/Pickled+Brain.jpg
Pickled Brain
We have Mind Stone and we have Dreamstone Hedron. Why no effect in between?
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2D7vShLPoOan77hp0Vsa67kX-Z0A3jrvD7sntpm1JfYkzcDNEWr2VZMnAy_8qmtM3AeNt-LH50mej2kcPGWh_JWoLBTGD1qv1uyVGKmJN1EgMq0NmFra8uOXdW3OD3xSsx3NekDe6PYs/s1600/Sewer+Mutant.jpg
Sewer Mutant.
I saw Artful Dodge and decided to top down design a thing like what was in the art.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigDQQ85VdEzx5bdMZ_PvP5XqLdkFHlNFs2koKO2u9DAuEv5m4etPH-lextwk5icdF2P5UCGDRSPdh2T3AyjGVWPD9L7ik6p8bDsheTiiJYdTbBUzEhOBoHB6MkBIqDttdNnvy7e-h9biM/s1600/Tesla+Coil.jpg
Tesla Coil.
Everything is Chain Lightning.
Let's get it!
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP-url1vIwz1e2MGM3pBo7EWqItaMaKRI_dMOW_16jkn2EoTj4ndj-XSWDYFG5HqkRVsqpaIIG0K1AELwtMOWM406A-lUPyi6QmWRw6nF55SMUzAbtxm8xT41zRPnrTyh_Xxs1emU1Ptw/s1600/Mitosis.jpg
Mitosis.
This is the card that started it all.
I thought of this card, and immediately thought of a mad scientist testing the effect on himself.
So I decided to try and write a story around it.
I'd love to hear what you thought of the story and the designs it brought forth!
Let's get started!
http://hairlessthoctar.blogspot.com/2012/04/mad-doctor.html
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPgFXEV6F_cme_wEB-u-nQjw7Zas-cizd7jNyd7V-2Ptu6xXTPW5agryBKzONf1pofi6mrpIOa-RaVfGnYlvVxKG6ViAC1sciWzM1Q8MNRj0Wqm5vPfJdSuTqPmxMNo4atEA92w7YK-qw/s1600/Avacynian+Scribe.jpg
Avacynian Scribe was simple enough.
White is the best weenie color and every color has access to cantrips.
As a designer I'm also on something of a crusade to get card draw in all five colors to some degree. It's just such an enormous and ubiquitous part of the game, that I don't really think it's fair to certain colors to have a monopoly on it.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL2RcgUNYog0bpA1tCeYwdtjWby9mcgspIPrSUCLsy76-DKukUpPlWwgmYEc17RBCrCaH7dZYwQjla7be1dx6F1OELQ_5X8v6YMIcyoIOC4gtQdMkElHSGHYaIVOyZD0BS_3qT-n4uFbI/s1600/Geralf+the+Stitcher.jpg
Geralf the Stitcher was a super easy design.
"All creatures are skaabs"
Bam. Done.
I will admit that 3 is probably way too low a CMC for such a powerful effect.
It should probably be at least 4, or have a heavier color weight.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjHWSl0jte4xRxo3RaFp5msTklsloIdk0jwldFVAC9El-Rnl3e9XgD67cdIk7myO39zhoLNeOY_kwl7z6aDS9ChOfd155oFR3BSLPVnYtVQxdTJpdtEpd-umkVs98r6N4Ku-HkDarRLcY/s1600/Gisa+the+Ghoulcaller.jpg
Since my original article went up, Avacyn Restored has come out.
In the set, Gisa is featured on a number of flavor texts, each time going by the moniker "Gisa the Mad".
That's the least of my problems.
I came up with design having totally forgotten that Coffin Queen is a thing. Which is weird because that card is super cool (and something that is sore need for a reprint).
In light of that, I'm rather disappointed in myself.
Coffin Queen has a pretty unique functionality, and I feel that it is fairly costed, and not necessarily an effect that needs to exist in plurality.
At some point, once I've written enough articles, I plan to do a "What would I do today?" article here I go over old card designs with what I've learned and say how I would do them differently.
By then, I plan to have something more satisfying.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd7p_qXECFXkzn8z31HspQavEW-H4p4YQI-QDy_CKV_86-G6uLu0R6wgnSTeA4c_yGVnL38RAyWyjXCcM5wyZGMBP3R3co84LYxhTdtmvzSBAYU3qIB00GwJxxy8c3g9o6mM0cnZt2wjk/s1600/Alchemist.jpg
Alchemist.
I'm not sure it's a design that 'needs' to exist, but It was one I was interested in exploring.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlaaLvkynp5-jjxTLV2thAhEenXEydeU-oPze1JJvWlNP9nTxPNpmAmeTrHI1P8rQW7BrcunDY4pKuhEVQYG3ms3CpC00JFpfOk7juX1f10HkT6sFvLZgXGFd2d6rkQPdItUahyocB3_Q/s1600/Treacherous+Alchemy.jpg
Treacherous Alchemy.
In my first article I mentioned how I feel that restriction free tutoring feels more blue than black to me. To that end, I felt I should do a blue equivalent of the current default tutor, Diabolic Tutor. But I didn't want to do a straight reprint of Diabolic, that would be boring.
So, since blue tends to favor working at instant speed, I made it work at instant speed, but have the infrequently used "top of the library" clause so that the power level is comparable to the slower but "into your hand" effect of Diabolic.
I'd love to see how the two would compare in the real.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOWiEXBqnZ9iIHlsshxGuP88mdctePFmzXS9XSTzTc1_-z246HMu6APm0BTy2x_nd2-2PYl_L3AKnA4_Oq72Dj95O2zmFxqkWHxHJOX4YPYvvNTDAthzJBaw2wR41_mHjBm3fY8wNeR4Q/s1600/Bewitching+Wall.jpg
Bewitching Wall.
I think Gomazoa is neat.
So I made another.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvkhP2EX3mL2O7zyTUpnYcAtsEVcp1c7rnp2g1PIaIDruUPb40uuC_sii0QtnPCHGDIbCLVvCh84k0yF0LNw8yaxgJzxmTvORAr1DiftITS33tKmpbfRw6Da6XZ5Vw_UqHfI3COesUnBc/s1600/Geistflame+Lantern.jpg
Geistflame Lantern.
As a proponent of fatties, I enjoy manarocks.
I did this as a a bottom up of a mana rock that cares about creatures dying, since that's a pretty ubiquitous effect in Innistrad.
I'm not sure the last ability needs to remove the counters AND sac though, the card is crazy wordy as is.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAfoOFGUhEC6fJzr1u0ODMNOuGyoltIiZsYarKagTy5F-UdF0QWuMbd0d-4d6RIkhyyjT3L6X8a8IxMml1W37Whl8ppuI6femJsPvY-wM-BYIVXeY3uaDQ_O901mzp4g0txiE5NkoZHfE/s1600/Open+Sewer.jpg
Open Sewer
Rats of Rath intrigues me.
So I wanted to see what other effects in the same vein I could explore.
This is what I came up with.
I came up with some designs that I think are more interesting and/or powerful, but this was by far the most straightforward design. Going with the simplest execution of a design is a skill that I think more would be Magic designers need to embrace.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrN1b9kF0-Pj1oRfEdd_kPl7r2oH1b2CeAXmObLMbahI1JMtQDhwPegvLHRvQuIsV6vgD1i7U_rPVd5qy1A3ZL0UIjY5G1ByjzqpONkG3fhEFSLI05JkjtrGH5WWDVGrs3uKNJ4SZOm7g/s1600/Nothing+is+Scarier.jpg
Nothing is Scarier.
Black has a sort of neat relationship with enchantments. It (and red) are allowed to have very powerful, very aggressively costed enchantments with bad downsides. Why is this? Because red and black are the only two colors that lack the capacity to interact with non-aura enchantments on the battlefield. Because of this, they can't offset the bad downsides of their enchantments (oh say, Phyrexian Arena) by destroying them later the same way that green or white or blue could.
So here's a "nothing can block" effect.
I just realized that this kind of mimics cards like Razorjaw Oni.
Cool beans.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhaH1XognJa2dRQ8RFGVk4BxPKllI1b33pdk-yhX523bKoutv86mWwV6mPUTOPG9-wTpO8-1AoOqfIweAdSjG9tA86hQn9QuEik19M6q5FiWz1x1sREHbVaTrJnuTi9Lvp3x2jvmPuDxlM/s1600/Reflection.jpg
Reflection is the top-downsiest card I've ever made. Nuff said.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWl-6bAUBpeLszD-MG3MNEzuMFtRbAWUwjAI_brcOfPfobSYpNcSb2jfPQJCQejWowu2uVvlxF64P73s5DeohGHfe9mnwIuNqUs4SmzYywtC_y1ss-5WeEtsxyQIPKC3lDjG5rn1voHgQ/s1600/Pickled+Brain.jpg
Pickled Brain
We have Mind Stone and we have Dreamstone Hedron. Why no effect in between?
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2D7vShLPoOan77hp0Vsa67kX-Z0A3jrvD7sntpm1JfYkzcDNEWr2VZMnAy_8qmtM3AeNt-LH50mej2kcPGWh_JWoLBTGD1qv1uyVGKmJN1EgMq0NmFra8uOXdW3OD3xSsx3NekDe6PYs/s1600/Sewer+Mutant.jpg
Sewer Mutant.
I saw Artful Dodge and decided to top down design a thing like what was in the art.
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigDQQ85VdEzx5bdMZ_PvP5XqLdkFHlNFs2koKO2u9DAuEv5m4etPH-lextwk5icdF2P5UCGDRSPdh2T3AyjGVWPD9L7ik6p8bDsheTiiJYdTbBUzEhOBoHB6MkBIqDttdNnvy7e-h9biM/s1600/Tesla+Coil.jpg
Tesla Coil.
Everything is Chain Lightning.
Let's get it!
https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP-url1vIwz1e2MGM3pBo7EWqItaMaKRI_dMOW_16jkn2EoTj4ndj-XSWDYFG5HqkRVsqpaIIG0K1AELwtMOWM406A-lUPyi6QmWRw6nF55SMUzAbtxm8xT41zRPnrTyh_Xxs1emU1Ptw/s1600/Mitosis.jpg
Mitosis.
This is the card that started it all.
I thought of this card, and immediately thought of a mad scientist testing the effect on himself.
So I decided to try and write a story around it.
I'd love to hear what you thought of the story and the designs it brought forth!
Sunday, April 1, 2012
The Mad Doctor
Disclaimer: This article contains custom card designs. If you are a Wizards of the Coast employee you have my full permission to use any designs or ideas within this article without my explicit written consent or prior knowledge, or without giving me any sort of credit. I love this game and I want to help it in any way I can.
The Mad Doctor
Mikail was nervous. He had never strayed this far out of his village before, especially for such a peculiar request. Mikail enjoyed something of a privilege position in his home village. He was a church-sanctioned scribe, which meant he commanded a level of admiration and respect similar to that of a mayor, but without the hassle of being attacked by werewolves or vampires, or that of a Cathar, again, without the hassle of being attacked by werewolves or vampires. Villagers would come to him with their problems and trifles, and he would often know how to solve them, or, worse case, someone else who could. Life for him was about as good as it got for a human on Innistrad, which was saying something.
He had been assigned to the village of Silber about a year and a half ago. It was a rather unremarkable village for the most part, which made it rather remarkable, really. Many villages throughout Innistrad usually had all manner of problems. Roving vampire packs, werewolf hordes, vengeful haints. Mikail had heard stories of a pair of sibling corpse-raisers the next county over waging a war with one another.
Silber had none of those problems. About six months into his charge, Mikail found out why. Up on the top of the hill was an opulent manor. Living in that manor, was an alchemist of some renown; named Regulus. Now normally, alchemy, especially on the quantity and quality performed by Regulus, was frowned upon and persecuted by the church as an act of extreme heresy. But no one in the remote village of Silber had ever bothered to report Regulus.
For you see, Regulus was rather unique among Innistrad’s alchemists. He apparently had no grand aspirations of domination of all he purveyed. He did not attempt to raise the dead, or craft monsters out of livestock, or find some sort of perversion of life that would make one immortal. Since Regulus had appeared in the village of Silber, all of his efforts had been towards finding and erecting wards and repellants towards the various fiends that had plagued all of Innistrad since time before anyone could remember. And what’s more, they all worked.
He provided them with wards and enchantments and repellants to the beasts that lurked beyond their village’s walls. He built sewer systems (without anyone noticing somehow…) and a series of lanterns throughout the village perpetually fueled by geistflames. He purified the local wells of plagues and curses. He made the crops grow larger and bloom regularly and made the soil and livestock more fertile and all manner of miraculous things.
And for these reasons, the people of Silber had grown to tolerate Regulus, and ignore some of his more eccentric qualities. Whenever all of the nails had been removed from a building overnight, or all of the local sheep sheared of their wool, or every third leaf plucked from an apple tree, the villagers accepted that as a ‘payment’ of sorts to the loony on the hill that was their eccentric guardian angel.
At first, Mikail was mortified. A heretic taking away faith from Avacyn! What’s more he was being sheltered by the entire village. He had quickly resolved to inform his higher ups of these transgressions, but the mayor had asked to see him privately. He explained the situation, that it was not out of a lack of faith that they tolerated Regulus, but more a matter of pragmatism. His methods worked.” How could the wellbeing of the village by a heresy?”, he asked Mikail. “Surely Avacyn would want her children to be safe. Who is he hurting by helping us?” Mikail thought long and hard about what was said to him, and decided to relent. He decided that so long as Regulus kept his antics ‘harmless’ that he would have no need to get the Cathars involved in a witch hunt in Silber.
This reputation of Regulus as a wacky loner had made what had transpired all the more startling to Mikail. A week ago, while he prepared his monthly report to Thraben, he heard a knock on his door. Company at this hour was unheard of, and the months of Regulus’ safety had not tempered his suspicions, so he readied his finest silver blade, and answered the door.
Before him stood no one at all. At his feet their lay a small ornate scroll “Dearest Mikail” printed upon it in an impossibly, almost sickeningly so, elaborate cursive font. He heard the pitter-patter of movement, and out of the corner of his eye he saw… something… dive into the nearest sewer grate.
Wary about the weirdness that had just transpired, he kicked the parcel behind him into his home, shut the door, and locked it behind him. He set to work, attempting every manner of curse-breaking and disenchanting upon the letter. Once he was thoroughly convinced it would not release a demon, or make his eyes rot into sludge, he opened the letter.
“Dearest Mikail Gunderson.
I request the honor of your visitation one week from now, on the 14th eve of the Hunter’s Moon, Ava 718. History shall be made, and you shall bear witness to it!
Your brother in Avacyn,
Regulus Gandolfus SilversteinVon Elric the Third, Esquire.”
As far as Mikail was aware, Regulus had never before made direct contact with any villager since his coming to Silber almost five years ago; so such directness as this was quite unprecedented. Mikail’s curiosity got the better of him, and decided to agree to the request.
The week passed without incident, and Mikail found himself upon the stoop of Regulus’ manor. He knocked. He could hear the echo reverberate beyond the door. About ten seconds passed before he heard the locks and tumblers inside the door click and creak, and slowly the door opened inward. Mikail peered inside. He could see no one there, the door had apparently opened of its own accord somehow. Beyond the threshold was darkness stretching as far as he could see.
Curiosity overcame Mikail and he ventured inside. Suddenly, countless lanterns burst into flame, in every color imaginable, bathing the room in a veritable rainbow of light. He was standing in a grand foyer. He found himself gawking at all the elaborate decorations until he peered up. There were twin staircases on either side of the room. They joined together at the top, leading to a balcony. On that balcony there was a double door, left ever so slightly ajar, and beyond that he could see a sinister glow, completely unlike that of the lanterns in the room. It had an otherworldliness to it that not even the literally otherworldly geistflames could hope to match.
Mikail was now face to face with a long, seemingly endless hallway. As he walked through the hallway, he passed by all number of bizarre and macabre decorations. Suits of armor in twisted, grotesque poses, portraits of people with the faces torn off, pots of long-dead flowers. He caught sight of a mirror and paused to look at it. As he inspected his uniform in the mirror, suddenly his reflection made a lunging motion towards him. He instinctively jumped back and drew his dagger to defend himself, but the reflection went no further; despite its obvious supernatural status, it did not attempt to breech the mirror, it just doubled over pointing and laughing at Mikail’s reaction. Whatever kind of man Regulus was, he had unique taste in decorations. Mikail ignored the reflection, which was now performing some sort of lewd dance, and kept walking. He reached the end of the corridor and came upon a heavy set of wrought-iron doors, left ajar, the otherworldly glow pouring out. With the light, he could hear heavy grinding mechanical sounds.
He walked through the door and found himself in a room that was beyond his ability to describe. It reminded him of a ward at the primary clinic he had seen in Thraben, but wrong somehow. There were tables covered with beakers and bottles of many shapes and sizes bubbling with fluids in as many colors as the lanterns in the foyer. He wondered if they were somehow related. The wall was covered in spinning gears and wires flowing with electricity. There were tables with straps on them far sturdier than could ever theoretically be needed to hold a person. The one at the end of the table had a zombie on it with a variety of implements sticking out of it. There were rows and rows of shelves with jars stuffed full of things unrecognizable. In one corner of the room he saw a tank full of the creatures he had seen jump into the sewer.
While he was inspecting the bizarre room, an ungodly explosion happened somewhere beyond his perception. He turned towards the blast just in time to catch witness to a man flung hard onto the table of beakers, collapsing the table legs and making a mess of the fluids in them. Though he was stunned by the sheer bizarreness of what he was seeing, Mikail quickly came to his senses and rushed to help the man.
He flipped the man over onto his back. He was wearing a white coat with a heavy leather smock. He had thick leather heavily worn gloves on his hands. As he inspected the man, he looked towards his face and noticed he had come to, and was staring intently at Mikail. The man had a strong chin and high set sunken cheeks. A thin pointed nose lay between heavily sunken eyes with deep bags, this man did not look as though he slept much. His hair was short, jet black, and slicked back as though with some sort of oil. His eyes were a cold, stony gray color. He blinked twice slowly before a look of comprehension dawned on him.
“Was that today? Oh goodness gracious, where are my manners.”
The man pulled himself to his feet far faster than logic would dictate should be possible for a person who was just caught in such an explosion.
“Was that today? Oh goodness gracious, where are my manners.”
The man pulled himself to his feet far faster than logic would dictate should be possible for a person who was just caught in such an explosion.
The man took off the heavy smock and gloves and threw them onto what was left of the beaker table. He dusted himself off, bent his neck sharply to one side, then other, producing loud disctinctive popping noises as he did so. He offered his hand.
“You must be master Gunderson. Regulus Gandolfus SilversteinVon Elric the Third, Esquire at your service!” he said with the most unearthly amount of cheer Mikail had ever heard from any person.
“You must be master Gunderson. Regulus Gandolfus SilversteinVon Elric the Third, Esquire at your service!” he said with the most unearthly amount of cheer Mikail had ever heard from any person.
Once again, Mikail was left speechless. This was easily the most surreal day he had ever lived or would likely ever live. He came to his senses and shook Regulus’ hand. “Charmed”
“I must apologize,” Regulus quipped “Confession; I tend to lose myself in my work. So rude of me to forget you were coming. I’m glad to see you found the place easily enough. Come! Tea!”
Regulus gestured Mikail over to a corner of the lab that had not (yet) been decimated by any manner of explosion, structural collapse, or corrosive fluid; and began pouring what he could only hope was tea out of one of the beakers into a pair of heavily cracked teacups. Mikail lightly sniffed at his cup. He glanced up; Regulus has gulped his down in a single motion. Mikail, against all better judgment, thought it safe enough, and took a sip. It was far better than he would have expected.
“So…” Mikail said slowly, “What exactly am I hear for?”
Regulus quickly glanced up, as though he had only just realized Mikail was there, and stared blankly at him for a not insignificant amount of time. “Ah yes! That!”
He sprang to his feet. “Mikail, my good man, you are here as my guest, to bear witness to legend!” Mikail could only stare. Regulus, sensing he was losing his captive audience, continued. “I should elaborate. You see, I’ve been waaaaaatching yooooou.” Mikail backed his chair up involuntarily “Oh don’t take it that way, you silly~ I watch everyone in the village, but you were something of a special case. When I first came to this miserable little town, I was quite ecstatic, the grasp of the church did not extend so far out into the boondocks, so I was quite capable of doing my god’s work without intervention, but then you showed up. I was quite fearful you would go and spoil my fun, but you’re not like the other church goers! You have a proper grasp of things! You can see the big picture! You knew I wasn’t a threat, so you didn’t report me; I like that!!!” Regulus grinned wide. He had a lot of teeth.
Regulus quickly glanced up, as though he had only just realized Mikail was there, and stared blankly at him for a not insignificant amount of time. “Ah yes! That!”
He sprang to his feet. “Mikail, my good man, you are here as my guest, to bear witness to legend!” Mikail could only stare. Regulus, sensing he was losing his captive audience, continued. “I should elaborate. You see, I’ve been waaaaaatching yooooou.” Mikail backed his chair up involuntarily “Oh don’t take it that way, you silly~ I watch everyone in the village, but you were something of a special case. When I first came to this miserable little town, I was quite ecstatic, the grasp of the church did not extend so far out into the boondocks, so I was quite capable of doing my god’s work without intervention, but then you showed up. I was quite fearful you would go and spoil my fun, but you’re not like the other church goers! You have a proper grasp of things! You can see the big picture! You knew I wasn’t a threat, so you didn’t report me; I like that!!!” Regulus grinned wide. He had a lot of teeth.
That piqued Mikail’s interest. “Why do you say you’re not a threat?”
“Because I’m not! I’m not like most of my contemporaries. I am not so bold as to wage war against Avacyn’s followers, or at least their sensibilities. I know what buttons not to push. What’s more I have a sense of self-preservation; I know that if the church were to become aware of my capabilities, they would spoil all my fun, and I can’t have that. There’s still lots of interesting things I can do without resorting to making monsters or raising the dead. And that’s why you’re here! You’re different! If there’s anyone who can appreciate what will unfurl tonight in that village, it is you!” Mikail backed up further.
Regulus walked over to another one of the machines, put a beaker underneath a spout, and began twisting some knobs and pulling levers. The machine lurched to life. “Whether or not the church appreciates or even understands it, I would not consider myself their enemy. No, I would consider myself an ally!” The machine began making all manner of horrid screeching noises as it struggled to do whatever it was trying to do. “I have a vested interest in fending off the forces of the night that blight this world.”
“Why is that?” Mikail querrried?
“The same reason as anyone who lives upon this earth; the monsters want to kill me. And I can’t have that, living is far too much fun~” The machine spewed out a neon blue liquid into the beaker. It let off a low glow, the same color glow Mikail had seen from the hallway. Regulus quickly downed the fluid.
“Why is that?” Mikail querrried?
“The same reason as anyone who lives upon this earth; the monsters want to kill me. And I can’t have that, living is far too much fun~” The machine spewed out a neon blue liquid into the beaker. It let off a low glow, the same color glow Mikail had seen from the hallway. Regulus quickly downed the fluid.
“GYAAAAAAAAAAH, taste like crap!!!”
Regulus smacked his lips. “You’ve seen my work, you know that I am capable of fending off these wretched creatures. But what happens after that? What if the Church gets suspicious, or the monsters get to me? Or I get old and die? Or I’m caught in some sort of horrible explosion brought about by my own intompitence?” Regulus was ever-so-subtly starting to glow the same color as the liquid.
“About that…”
“I don’t want to die, Mikail. Blessed Sleep or no, I would much rather be alive you see. So I’ve been hard at work, coming up with a contingency plan. And you know what?” That toothy smile again. “I’ve found it.”
Regulus walked over to a tall structure that had a tarp strewn over it and yanked it off. It appeared to be a guillotine with the stocks removed from it. Mikail stood up sharply, he didn’t know what was about to happen but he didn’t think he would like it, whatever it was.
“Tonight!” He pointed sharply at Mikail. “I walk where angels tread!”
He walked underneath the guillotine so he just under the middle of it, and put his hand on the lever.
He walked underneath the guillotine so he just under the middle of it, and put his hand on the lever.
“Don’t do i-“ Regulus threw the lever. Before Mikail could even blink the blade descended faster than lightning and split Regulus down the middle, like a knife through warm butter. The expression on each side of Regulus’ face froze, and the two halves went limp and slumped over. Mikail was left numb, the weirdness was getting to him, he wasn’t sure how much more he could take.
The two halves of the mad scientist just lay there, unmoving. Mikail waited. Waited. Waited. Nothing. He began to wonder to himself. What will happen to all of Regulus’ wards and enchantments now that he was dead? Were they autonomous, or did Regulus have to provide them with upkeep to sustain their functionality? Now that Regulus was dead, should he let the church know about the goings on in the town of Silber? If Regulus loved life as much as he said he did, why would he do something so obviously suicidal?
“Owwwww!!!” Mikail jumped back, and looked over towards Regulus. The shredded side of him was glowing blue, and out of that glow a half of a man grew out of it, returning Regulus to a whole shape of a man again. He stood up and marveled at what he did, poking his fingers together, and twiddling his ear on the side that had been regrown. Sensing that what had just happened must surely be beyond rational thought to even the most well-adjusted of men, he smile and turned towards Mikail. He opened his mouth as if to speak.
“See! Nothing to worry about!” Regulus face froze. That voice had not come from him. He saw that Mikail’s gaze lay behind him and pivoted on the spot. He saw a second Regulus, or rather his other half, in the process of regrowing, standing up from the other side of the guillotine blade. He stood fully formed and looked towards Mikail “I knew exactly what I was dooooo-“ He saw the first Regulus standing before him. They stood there, staring at themselves as though they had never seen a mirror for the first time.
After what seemed like an eternity to Mikail “That was unexpected.” They said in unity. That toothy grin began to creep over both of their faces. “You see Mikail” The first Regulus said “You have bore witness to greatness!” He turned back towards Mikail. “With this” chimed in the second Regulus “my fun will be never-ending…”
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