Hello folks.
I'm Hairless Thoctar.
Actually rather hairy, been playing Magic for about 5 years now, have become completely obsessed.
As many of you may know, Wizards of the Coast; the stellar men, women, and goblins that they are; are running the fourth You Make the Card event. That's pretty neat.
We've already settled on enchantment for type, black for color, and global for effect.
Not my first choices, but I'm a easy-to-please kinda guy.
Now we're submitting potentially the most important aspect of the card; the rules text.
I'm reaching out to the maybe five of you that will read this with a plea;
Please don't design a Necropotence variant.
Yes, the effect is powerful, but it's so obvious.
When people think of powerful black enchantments, it's the first thing anyone thinks of.
I understand the appeal, really I do, but we can do so much better.
Something distinctive and original that won't either ruin standard for two years or won't fade away into obscurity.
We have the potential for greatness, to design something totally distinct that lives up to the legacy of the YMTC, um, legacy.
We can do it. You can help.
Monday, April 15, 2013
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Villain
There is no rest for the wicked.
Calave recalled the words the Guildmaster Lazav had told him once. He was being senselessly beaten by a pair of Boros officers. It was an odd time to become sentimental, looking death in the eyes. But Calave was an understanding man; he did not fear death.
Quite simply, the world needs villains.
Lazav would go on. The words echoing in his mind mirroring the echoes of his femur being broken in this basement chamber. Calave had been caught trying to steal evidence from a Boros holding facility. Someone had been arrested, and the Calave had been tasked with wiping his slate clean. He wasn't doing too well.
The world that is Ravnica exists in between the black and the white. There needs to be men and women capable and willing to make tough decisions for the good of us all.
Calave was a bit surprised by the turn of events. The Boros were zealous to be sure, but there was normally a procedure for this sort of thing. Sure someone could be expected to be roughed up, but you usually had to do something pretty heinous to be murdered in Boros custody. Calave had underestimated how high guild tensions were running these days because of that fat purple twit.
The officers handling him were out for his blood. It was bothersome, but Calave was going to die here.
There are too many moving pieces these days. The lines have been drawn in the sand. The Guilds fear showing weakness to one another, fear of showing compromise, so nothing gets done. That's what we are for; we compromise them.
We get things done.
A tingly numb feeling was beginning to cascade throughout Calave's body. He couldn't feel anything below his left knee and a glance confirmed that very little below there would have worked anymore anyway. If Calave still possessed the capacity to sigh,
Not only would his higher ups be tasked with covering up his compromised position, but they would have to send a cleaner to remove the evidence, a wiper to change the minds of anyone involved, a mole would have to figure out where they would move the evidence to, and another attempt at the evidence would be made.
Life would be so much simpler if the Guilds actually made an effort at compromise, even if it wasn't public. They could keep up appearances, but it was no well-kept secret that all 10 pieces were necessary for the maintenance of this strange machine that Ravnica had become.
When the Guilds fail to look eye to eye, we see.
One of the soldiers backhanded Calave so harshly the vision in his remaining eye blurred as though looking through a particularly dirty window.
When communication breaks down, we speak.
A punch to Calave's jaw. What little feeling remained suggested that it was broken, hanging from his face like a faulty marionette.
When no one else makes is willing to do a bad thing for a good reason, we endure.
Calave fell forward. He brought himself to his knees, and then saw a blade spurt out of his chest. The numbness overcame him. His vision failed. His breathe halted.
Darkness.
And then a light.
Calave stared.
In the distance there was a light, obscured as through some sort of opaque lens.
A fish swam by, Calave figured they had ditched his body in an aqueduct or something similar.
Calave tensed, searching for feeling.
What luck, none of his limbs had been severed, this would make this simple.
He brought his hands before his face.
He counted the bones in his hand. Phalanges. Metacarpals. Hamate. Pistiform. Nothing appeared to be missing.
Calave stood up and undid a crick in his neck.
It was going to be a chore sneaking back in through the undoubtedly tighter security.
But such was the way of things.
There was no rest for the wicked.
Calave recalled the words the Guildmaster Lazav had told him once. He was being senselessly beaten by a pair of Boros officers. It was an odd time to become sentimental, looking death in the eyes. But Calave was an understanding man; he did not fear death.
Quite simply, the world needs villains.
Lazav would go on. The words echoing in his mind mirroring the echoes of his femur being broken in this basement chamber. Calave had been caught trying to steal evidence from a Boros holding facility. Someone had been arrested, and the Calave had been tasked with wiping his slate clean. He wasn't doing too well.
The world that is Ravnica exists in between the black and the white. There needs to be men and women capable and willing to make tough decisions for the good of us all.
Calave was a bit surprised by the turn of events. The Boros were zealous to be sure, but there was normally a procedure for this sort of thing. Sure someone could be expected to be roughed up, but you usually had to do something pretty heinous to be murdered in Boros custody. Calave had underestimated how high guild tensions were running these days because of that fat purple twit.
The officers handling him were out for his blood. It was bothersome, but Calave was going to die here.
There are too many moving pieces these days. The lines have been drawn in the sand. The Guilds fear showing weakness to one another, fear of showing compromise, so nothing gets done. That's what we are for; we compromise them.
We get things done.
A tingly numb feeling was beginning to cascade throughout Calave's body. He couldn't feel anything below his left knee and a glance confirmed that very little below there would have worked anymore anyway. If Calave still possessed the capacity to sigh,
Not only would his higher ups be tasked with covering up his compromised position, but they would have to send a cleaner to remove the evidence, a wiper to change the minds of anyone involved, a mole would have to figure out where they would move the evidence to, and another attempt at the evidence would be made.
Life would be so much simpler if the Guilds actually made an effort at compromise, even if it wasn't public. They could keep up appearances, but it was no well-kept secret that all 10 pieces were necessary for the maintenance of this strange machine that Ravnica had become.
When the Guilds fail to look eye to eye, we see.
One of the soldiers backhanded Calave so harshly the vision in his remaining eye blurred as though looking through a particularly dirty window.
When communication breaks down, we speak.
A punch to Calave's jaw. What little feeling remained suggested that it was broken, hanging from his face like a faulty marionette.
When no one else makes is willing to do a bad thing for a good reason, we endure.
Calave fell forward. He brought himself to his knees, and then saw a blade spurt out of his chest. The numbness overcame him. His vision failed. His breathe halted.
Darkness.
And then a light.
Calave stared.
In the distance there was a light, obscured as through some sort of opaque lens.
A fish swam by, Calave figured they had ditched his body in an aqueduct or something similar.
Calave tensed, searching for feeling.
What luck, none of his limbs had been severed, this would make this simple.
He brought his hands before his face.
He counted the bones in his hand. Phalanges. Metacarpals. Hamate. Pistiform. Nothing appeared to be missing.
Calave stood up and undid a crick in his neck.
It was going to be a chore sneaking back in through the undoubtedly tighter security.
But such was the way of things.
There was no rest for the wicked.
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Rosewater Rumble, the aftermath
A couple of weeks back, Mark Rosewater, Magic's lead designer, ran a tournament of sorts: The Rosewater Rumble.
He asked all of his followers on his numerous social media outlets to pick their favorite set of the 16 sets he had been the lead designer for.
A bit boastful, yes, but I would brag too if I had made that much of an impact on the game.
Today I offer some of my own opinions on the outcome of the poll, how I voted et cetera.
Or I would have, had I remembered what I had to say, but it was three weeks ago, and in that time I've forgotten some of the undoubtedly profound things I had to say.
I guess I'm going to wing it.
I want to highlight some of the sets I favored and why.
In his personal reviews, Mark speaks somewhat pessimistically of Mirrodin and Urza's Destiny. And not for no reason, they were two of the most overpowered sets of all time. They ushered forth some of the most poorly developed cards of all time that turned tournament play into a stagnant wasteland of salty tears.
But I kind of liked that. yes, those sets had some really bad issues, but their poor development stands in stark contrast to most of Magic's history where tournament play always had some semblance of balance. I feel that the unique circumstances that lead to these sets being so broken also led them to be unique in all the best ways. So many cards, so many cool cards, from these sets simply would not have ever happened in a set with a tighter leash.
I also personally voted very high for Shadowmoor and Eventide. I started playing just after Shards of Alara was released, so everyone I played with at the beginning had loads of decks full of hybrid cards. I came to play with and against a ton of the cardpool from the two sets, and even as my tastes and skills matured, I always had a soft spot for the sets. It seemed to me that as some quirk of hybrid design that the two sets had fewer cards that most players colloquially referred to as "limited chaffe", cards that are playable in limited, but pretty much nowehre else.
That's pretty much it.
Those are the only opinions I had that stood apart from the standard.
What did you think of the results of the Rosewater Rumble?
Why did you like or dislike the design of the various sets in it?
I'd love to hear what you think about it!
He asked all of his followers on his numerous social media outlets to pick their favorite set of the 16 sets he had been the lead designer for.
A bit boastful, yes, but I would brag too if I had made that much of an impact on the game.
Today I offer some of my own opinions on the outcome of the poll, how I voted et cetera.
Or I would have, had I remembered what I had to say, but it was three weeks ago, and in that time I've forgotten some of the undoubtedly profound things I had to say.
I guess I'm going to wing it.
I want to highlight some of the sets I favored and why.
In his personal reviews, Mark speaks somewhat pessimistically of Mirrodin and Urza's Destiny. And not for no reason, they were two of the most overpowered sets of all time. They ushered forth some of the most poorly developed cards of all time that turned tournament play into a stagnant wasteland of salty tears.
But I kind of liked that. yes, those sets had some really bad issues, but their poor development stands in stark contrast to most of Magic's history where tournament play always had some semblance of balance. I feel that the unique circumstances that lead to these sets being so broken also led them to be unique in all the best ways. So many cards, so many cool cards, from these sets simply would not have ever happened in a set with a tighter leash.
I also personally voted very high for Shadowmoor and Eventide. I started playing just after Shards of Alara was released, so everyone I played with at the beginning had loads of decks full of hybrid cards. I came to play with and against a ton of the cardpool from the two sets, and even as my tastes and skills matured, I always had a soft spot for the sets. It seemed to me that as some quirk of hybrid design that the two sets had fewer cards that most players colloquially referred to as "limited chaffe", cards that are playable in limited, but pretty much nowehre else.
That's pretty much it.
Those are the only opinions I had that stood apart from the standard.
What did you think of the results of the Rosewater Rumble?
Why did you like or dislike the design of the various sets in it?
I'd love to hear what you think about it!
Monday, March 18, 2013
You Make the Card run off, a consideration
If you're reading this, chance are you're into Magic: the Gathering.
And if you're into Magic: the Gathering, chances are you're aware that Wizards is running the fourth "You Make the Card" promotional contest event thing.
And if you weren't;
Hey. You.
Wizards is running the foruth "You Make the Card" promotional contest event thing.
Which is pretty neat.
Basically, YMTC is a recurring thing Wizards has been doing irregularly since Onslaught block, wherein the hand the reigns of design over to us, the unwashed masses who don't have the fortuity to work at Wizards of the Coast for a single card.
Over the course of many weeks, a variety of polls are held to narrow down the focus of the event and ultimately decide what shall be printed.
Last week, the vote was for what card time would be considered; everything sans Planeswalker was up for vote.
The vote was close.
Like really freaking close.
Like 25 votes out of several dozen thousand votes close.
So, this week, they're doing a runoff between the top two contenders;
enchantment and land.
And here I am, as a half-arsed writer and would be designer who occasionally remembers that he has a blog on blogspot to tell you my opinion.
Now, don't get me wrong, I love me some enchantments.
Statisically, they are the hardest to remove card type and they've historically lacked the attention that some of the other card types have had giving them a wide berth of potential effects left to print.
But I'm a lands kind of guy
#TeamLand
Here's why I'm voting land (again) and why you should, too!
1. It's a challenge to design. Lands can't be countered. Any deck can play them without reprecusion. Land destruction has been nerfed to the point of irrelevance. There's a lot of valves that need to be very carefully adjusted to make them compelling and safe. And that makes me excited~
2. They need more love. It took Wizards until Prophecy to build a set around the theme of lands, and it took them until Zendikar to do it in a way that most people don't speak of in the same way that most of us speak of infectious diseases. There is SOOOOOOOOOOOO much untapped design space left for lands that no matter what kind of player you are, there is definitely something a land can do for you.
3. It's something for everyone. Simple enough; anyone can run lands. They have fewer restrictions towards gameplay since they don't compete for spell slots.
I'd love to hear your own opinions on the matter and don't forget to vote yourself!
And if you're into Magic: the Gathering, chances are you're aware that Wizards is running the fourth "You Make the Card" promotional contest event thing.
And if you weren't;
Hey. You.
Wizards is running the foruth "You Make the Card" promotional contest event thing.
Which is pretty neat.
Basically, YMTC is a recurring thing Wizards has been doing irregularly since Onslaught block, wherein the hand the reigns of design over to us, the unwashed masses who don't have the fortuity to work at Wizards of the Coast for a single card.
Over the course of many weeks, a variety of polls are held to narrow down the focus of the event and ultimately decide what shall be printed.
Last week, the vote was for what card time would be considered; everything sans Planeswalker was up for vote.
The vote was close.
Like really freaking close.
Like 25 votes out of several dozen thousand votes close.
So, this week, they're doing a runoff between the top two contenders;
enchantment and land.
And here I am, as a half-arsed writer and would be designer who occasionally remembers that he has a blog on blogspot to tell you my opinion.
Now, don't get me wrong, I love me some enchantments.
Statisically, they are the hardest to remove card type and they've historically lacked the attention that some of the other card types have had giving them a wide berth of potential effects left to print.
But I'm a lands kind of guy
#TeamLand
Here's why I'm voting land (again) and why you should, too!
1. It's a challenge to design. Lands can't be countered. Any deck can play them without reprecusion. Land destruction has been nerfed to the point of irrelevance. There's a lot of valves that need to be very carefully adjusted to make them compelling and safe. And that makes me excited~
2. They need more love. It took Wizards until Prophecy to build a set around the theme of lands, and it took them until Zendikar to do it in a way that most people don't speak of in the same way that most of us speak of infectious diseases. There is SOOOOOOOOOOOO much untapped design space left for lands that no matter what kind of player you are, there is definitely something a land can do for you.
3. It's something for everyone. Simple enough; anyone can run lands. They have fewer restrictions towards gameplay since they don't compete for spell slots.
I'd love to hear your own opinions on the matter and don't forget to vote yourself!
Saturday, February 9, 2013
Brewing Tibalt
I'm in a bad place right now, readers.
A dark metaphorical hellhole from which there is no escape. A midnight black quagmire of despair and woe that threatens to consume my very sanity and leave me but a wretched husk of what I once was.
I want to brew a Tibalt deck.
I don't know why. Maybe it's because he's a Planeswalker that is cheap, affordable and easily acquirable because no one wants any. Maybe its exactly because no one wants any and some Magic players latch onto things that are unique and unappreciated. Maybe I want to satiate myself on someone's tears when I beat them with a deck built around the worst Planeswalker printed to date. Maybe I've fallen off my meds and you'd best call the police before I hurt someone.
Whatever the reason, I've had Tibalt on my mind a lot lately, and I'd like to share with you some ideas I've had.
First of all, I am in no way saying that Tibalt is good, merely that he is playable. That his downside is one that can be built around.
There are two ways that I can tell to build around that wretched line "discard at random".
Firstly, make sure that your deck is highly redundant. Have lots of cards in your deck that accomplish nigh identical functions. If you pitch a burn spell you want to have lots of other burn spells of similar scope to replace it with. Same with creatures, token makers, draw spells. Whatever you're filling your deck with.
Secondly, ideally, you want most anything Tibalt pitches to be something you would want to pitch. Things with madness that you cheat out with Tibalt. Things that you want in the graveyard in the firstplace like Unearthers, Flashbackers, reanimation targets, etc. Things that you can bring back with recursion outlets.
Or if you can manage, both.
Here's a list I came up with yesterday.
4 Stomping Ground
4 Rootbound Crag
2 Kessig Wolf Run
6 Mountain
6 Forest
4 Tibalt, the Fiend-Blooded
4 Wasteland Viper
4 Boneyard Wurm
4 Dawntreader Elk
4 Lightning Mauler
4 Splinterfright
4 Slaughterhorn
4 Ghor-Clan Rampager
4 Zhur-Taa Swine
3 Kessig Cagebreakers
1 Ghoultree
You see the battleplan, yes?
I get a Boneyard Wurm or Splinterfright, or if the game lasts long enough, a Cagebreakers into play, and go to town! The whole deck is creatures and most of them have ways of getting into the yard whether by saccing themselves, or being bloodrushed, or by way of Tibalt.
Then I bash face my my graveyard fueled monsters.
I have yet to test this and there's probably ways to optimize.
A green-based creature deck in standard usually wants to run Rancors.
This many creatures, maybe Domri is worth including.
That many things in the yard, Garruk Relentless' ultimate would be handy.
Faithless Looting or Mulch to help fill the yard?
I'm not sure, but I look forward to finding out.
A dark metaphorical hellhole from which there is no escape. A midnight black quagmire of despair and woe that threatens to consume my very sanity and leave me but a wretched husk of what I once was.
I want to brew a Tibalt deck.
I don't know why. Maybe it's because he's a Planeswalker that is cheap, affordable and easily acquirable because no one wants any. Maybe its exactly because no one wants any and some Magic players latch onto things that are unique and unappreciated. Maybe I want to satiate myself on someone's tears when I beat them with a deck built around the worst Planeswalker printed to date. Maybe I've fallen off my meds and you'd best call the police before I hurt someone.
Whatever the reason, I've had Tibalt on my mind a lot lately, and I'd like to share with you some ideas I've had.
First of all, I am in no way saying that Tibalt is good, merely that he is playable. That his downside is one that can be built around.
There are two ways that I can tell to build around that wretched line "discard at random".
Firstly, make sure that your deck is highly redundant. Have lots of cards in your deck that accomplish nigh identical functions. If you pitch a burn spell you want to have lots of other burn spells of similar scope to replace it with. Same with creatures, token makers, draw spells. Whatever you're filling your deck with.
Secondly, ideally, you want most anything Tibalt pitches to be something you would want to pitch. Things with madness that you cheat out with Tibalt. Things that you want in the graveyard in the firstplace like Unearthers, Flashbackers, reanimation targets, etc. Things that you can bring back with recursion outlets.
Or if you can manage, both.
Here's a list I came up with yesterday.
4 Stomping Ground
4 Rootbound Crag
2 Kessig Wolf Run
6 Mountain
6 Forest
4 Tibalt, the Fiend-Blooded
4 Wasteland Viper
4 Boneyard Wurm
4 Dawntreader Elk
4 Lightning Mauler
4 Splinterfright
4 Slaughterhorn
4 Ghor-Clan Rampager
4 Zhur-Taa Swine
3 Kessig Cagebreakers
1 Ghoultree
You see the battleplan, yes?
I get a Boneyard Wurm or Splinterfright, or if the game lasts long enough, a Cagebreakers into play, and go to town! The whole deck is creatures and most of them have ways of getting into the yard whether by saccing themselves, or being bloodrushed, or by way of Tibalt.
Then I bash face my my graveyard fueled monsters.
I have yet to test this and there's probably ways to optimize.
A green-based creature deck in standard usually wants to run Rancors.
This many creatures, maybe Domri is worth including.
That many things in the yard, Garruk Relentless' ultimate would be handy.
Faithless Looting or Mulch to help fill the yard?
I'm not sure, but I look forward to finding out.
Labels:
Bloodrush,
brew,
cagebreakers,
Gathering,
graveyard,
Magic,
Splinterfright,
Tibalt
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Glorious
Sedemir fell to the ground clutching his chest. Correction: What was left of his chest. An sizable portion of it had been rather unceremoniously removed from him; rather, it had removed itself. His various cytoplasmic grafts had torn themselves off his body. He heaved, breathing was difficult. He was missing a lung and one of his hearts. It was only by the marvels of Simic biomancy that he had survived the ravages of Simic biomancy.
His sight was failing him, not because of his missing eye, but rather the blood loss and the not insignificant part of his brain that had left him. But he faintly heard some great and terrible beast rampaging in the distance. ‘The Eksperiment must have been successful’ he thought to himself ‘he looked down at the pool of fluids leaking from his mutilated form ‘not quite how I might have imagined it…’ The rest of his senses began to fail him. He rolled over on his back. He could not feel three of his arms and either of his legs below the knee, when he tried to breathe out of his gills he choked and blood spat out instead. This was Master Vig’s greatest work evidentially; birthing a guild of butchered cripples.
Despair and rage began to overwhelm the usually stoic vedalken mage. ‘How could he do this. To me? To all of us?’ he thought, speech was beyond question at the present. ‘How is this, any of this, what you promised?’ He choked on rage and blood ‘The years of service and dedication. The trials and experiments and surgeries. Crafting my body into a more appropriate form for your grand plans, and this is what I receive for my tribute?!’ Sedemir’s blood pressure was inching him ever closer to death. He gurgled a curse through his agony “YOU’VE RUINED ME!”
Sedemir’s sight gave out. As did his hearing, his touch, his taste and smell, and his other 37 senses. They gave way to madness. Colors swirled around him into smells that tasted unlike anything he had ever heard. Everything. Nothing. Nowhere. Anywhere. Too much. All at once. Sensory overload. And then nothing. Sedemir fell hard on his back. “What in the hell?!” Sedemir turned to see who had suddenly joined him. A human man, in simple leather tatters, a look of shock plastered across his face. With what he had left, Sedemir cast the strongest stasis spell he could manage upon the man, and lept upon his frozen form as it fell backwards, stiff as a statue.
He cast a similar, though less dramatic spell upon himself, and held his remaining arm up to his remaining eye. He concentrated as hard as he could, channeling mana with all his might. His fingers elongated into blades. Transpecies organ transplants were tricky, especially without a proper lab, but Sedemir would not allow himself to be a victim of Momir’s deception. He got to work, removing organs from his patient and suturing them into place upon himself best he could. Doing this upon himself, in his condition, was beyond excruciating; but nothing he couldn’t handle.
After some amount of effort, Sedemir had himself a full body of organs again. He had managed to replace two of his missing arms and both of his legs. As luck would have it, his patient was of a similar build. The ham-looking flesh stood in stark contrast to his own turquoise hide, but pride meant nothing before his own survival. He fixed everything but his brain, he didn’t dare mix that with someone else. He would simply have to culture new tissue and program the missing data with what he had written in his logs.
He stood, tenderly upon his new legs. Human flesh was so unappealing looking. It resembled ham. Sedemir was not fond of ham. He wiggled his hammy toes and twisted his face in disgust. He looked at the grass between his toes and. Grass? It just dawned on him that he was most certainly not in the Simic science hall he had been in when his organs had revolted against him. He looked around. Very few buildings anywhere around, lots of rolling sandy hills, with tufts of grass growing upon rocks, simple stone huts with red banners flapping in the breeze. Sedemir did not get out of the lab as much as perhaps should have, but he was no fool. This was not Ravnica. It was simply not possible to stand anywhere on Ravnica and not see a skyscraper piercing the horizon in some direction. What had happened to him? How had he come here? Who was the man who had saved his life?
He looked down at the man who had saved his life. Correction: The remains of the man who had saved his life. He was still under the lingering effects of Sedemir’s stasis spell, but it was beginning to fade. Blood ever-so-slowly oozed from his body like tree sap. If at all possible, Sedemir would have attempted to save his life in return, he did not enjoy being indebted to another, but it did not seem possible. Without his lab or proper materials he did not have that which would be necessary to replace what he had taken, and he needed it more. A noble sacrifice. Sedemir applied an enzyme to the corpse. Nothing would be left in an hour but fillings and belt buckles.
Sedemir gazed upon the puddle that used to be the man who had saved his life. ‘What now?’ he thought to himself ‘What does a man do when everything he has ever built has become torn down? Pick up the pieces? Start over?’ What was the point, so much had been lost.’ He clenched his fists. ‘No.’ He had worked too hard to be an annotation on Momir’s journal. He would carry on. No longer a parasite to someone else’s vision, but the progenitor to his own. And it would be glorious.
His sight was failing him, not because of his missing eye, but rather the blood loss and the not insignificant part of his brain that had left him. But he faintly heard some great and terrible beast rampaging in the distance. ‘The Eksperiment must have been successful’ he thought to himself ‘he looked down at the pool of fluids leaking from his mutilated form ‘not quite how I might have imagined it…’ The rest of his senses began to fail him. He rolled over on his back. He could not feel three of his arms and either of his legs below the knee, when he tried to breathe out of his gills he choked and blood spat out instead. This was Master Vig’s greatest work evidentially; birthing a guild of butchered cripples.
Despair and rage began to overwhelm the usually stoic vedalken mage. ‘How could he do this. To me? To all of us?’ he thought, speech was beyond question at the present. ‘How is this, any of this, what you promised?’ He choked on rage and blood ‘The years of service and dedication. The trials and experiments and surgeries. Crafting my body into a more appropriate form for your grand plans, and this is what I receive for my tribute?!’ Sedemir’s blood pressure was inching him ever closer to death. He gurgled a curse through his agony “YOU’VE RUINED ME!”
Sedemir’s sight gave out. As did his hearing, his touch, his taste and smell, and his other 37 senses. They gave way to madness. Colors swirled around him into smells that tasted unlike anything he had ever heard. Everything. Nothing. Nowhere. Anywhere. Too much. All at once. Sensory overload. And then nothing. Sedemir fell hard on his back. “What in the hell?!” Sedemir turned to see who had suddenly joined him. A human man, in simple leather tatters, a look of shock plastered across his face. With what he had left, Sedemir cast the strongest stasis spell he could manage upon the man, and lept upon his frozen form as it fell backwards, stiff as a statue.
He cast a similar, though less dramatic spell upon himself, and held his remaining arm up to his remaining eye. He concentrated as hard as he could, channeling mana with all his might. His fingers elongated into blades. Transpecies organ transplants were tricky, especially without a proper lab, but Sedemir would not allow himself to be a victim of Momir’s deception. He got to work, removing organs from his patient and suturing them into place upon himself best he could. Doing this upon himself, in his condition, was beyond excruciating; but nothing he couldn’t handle.
After some amount of effort, Sedemir had himself a full body of organs again. He had managed to replace two of his missing arms and both of his legs. As luck would have it, his patient was of a similar build. The ham-looking flesh stood in stark contrast to his own turquoise hide, but pride meant nothing before his own survival. He fixed everything but his brain, he didn’t dare mix that with someone else. He would simply have to culture new tissue and program the missing data with what he had written in his logs.
He stood, tenderly upon his new legs. Human flesh was so unappealing looking. It resembled ham. Sedemir was not fond of ham. He wiggled his hammy toes and twisted his face in disgust. He looked at the grass between his toes and. Grass? It just dawned on him that he was most certainly not in the Simic science hall he had been in when his organs had revolted against him. He looked around. Very few buildings anywhere around, lots of rolling sandy hills, with tufts of grass growing upon rocks, simple stone huts with red banners flapping in the breeze. Sedemir did not get out of the lab as much as perhaps should have, but he was no fool. This was not Ravnica. It was simply not possible to stand anywhere on Ravnica and not see a skyscraper piercing the horizon in some direction. What had happened to him? How had he come here? Who was the man who had saved his life?
He looked down at the man who had saved his life. Correction: The remains of the man who had saved his life. He was still under the lingering effects of Sedemir’s stasis spell, but it was beginning to fade. Blood ever-so-slowly oozed from his body like tree sap. If at all possible, Sedemir would have attempted to save his life in return, he did not enjoy being indebted to another, but it did not seem possible. Without his lab or proper materials he did not have that which would be necessary to replace what he had taken, and he needed it more. A noble sacrifice. Sedemir applied an enzyme to the corpse. Nothing would be left in an hour but fillings and belt buckles.
Sedemir gazed upon the puddle that used to be the man who had saved his life. ‘What now?’ he thought to himself ‘What does a man do when everything he has ever built has become torn down? Pick up the pieces? Start over?’ What was the point, so much had been lost.’ He clenched his fists. ‘No.’ He had worked too hard to be an annotation on Momir’s journal. He would carry on. No longer a parasite to someone else’s vision, but the progenitor to his own. And it would be glorious.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Gatecrash experiences
Real talk?
Return to Ravnica block limited is some of the most fun I've had playing limited. Each guild has lots of little nuances, synergies, strategies. Each guild has lots of ways to play, and cards that interact favorably not only with their own guild, but a bunch of other guilds as well.
I've played a lot of Gatecrash lately, so I'll highlite some nice interactions I've noticed.
Agoraphobia - A nice little card that's well worth the price because it renders a creature completely worthless as anything other than a blocker. But it has a few other nice tricks. It is an extort enabler. Becuase it can bounce itself, you can use it and an extort outlet to bleed your opponent out of a stalemate. It is also an evolve enabler. Stick it on one of your better evolve guys and let it get buffed up from a few other critters. Once it's sufficiently big enough, bounce the aura and go to town with your newly biggified beastie.
Gatecrash has tons of evasive things at lower rarities, things such as Way of the Thief. Now, I played a good deal of M13 limited, and let me tell you Tricks of the Trade was always a beating. Well worth it just for how badly it would screw up your opponent's calculations of your game clock. This does that, but even worse. How scary is an unblockable dude when you're in Bloodrush colors, or once you've stuck a cipher spell or two on it? Plenty.
Act of Treason - Clears a blocker, and gives you a third trooper for your Battalion battle plan.
Alpha Authority is in the same limited environment as Ripclaw Predator and Madcap Skills. Just sayin'
Encoded spells become cast, so you can extort off of them.
There's just so much to do, and there will be even more in Dragon's Maze when the guilds cross streams, so to speak.
Scavenging onto Dimir's multiple unblockable critters. Detaining blockers away for an enormous Bloodrush beating or another cipher trigger. Blistercoil Weird getting a free untap from those cipher triggers. Moving counters off of your Simic Fluxmage onto your opponent's Unleash dude.
I can't wait.
What's the coolest experience you've had so far playing Return to Ravnica or Gatecrash limited?
Return to Ravnica block limited is some of the most fun I've had playing limited. Each guild has lots of little nuances, synergies, strategies. Each guild has lots of ways to play, and cards that interact favorably not only with their own guild, but a bunch of other guilds as well.
I've played a lot of Gatecrash lately, so I'll highlite some nice interactions I've noticed.
Agoraphobia - A nice little card that's well worth the price because it renders a creature completely worthless as anything other than a blocker. But it has a few other nice tricks. It is an extort enabler. Becuase it can bounce itself, you can use it and an extort outlet to bleed your opponent out of a stalemate. It is also an evolve enabler. Stick it on one of your better evolve guys and let it get buffed up from a few other critters. Once it's sufficiently big enough, bounce the aura and go to town with your newly biggified beastie.
Gatecrash has tons of evasive things at lower rarities, things such as Way of the Thief. Now, I played a good deal of M13 limited, and let me tell you Tricks of the Trade was always a beating. Well worth it just for how badly it would screw up your opponent's calculations of your game clock. This does that, but even worse. How scary is an unblockable dude when you're in Bloodrush colors, or once you've stuck a cipher spell or two on it? Plenty.
Act of Treason - Clears a blocker, and gives you a third trooper for your Battalion battle plan.
Alpha Authority is in the same limited environment as Ripclaw Predator and Madcap Skills. Just sayin'
Encoded spells become cast, so you can extort off of them.
There's just so much to do, and there will be even more in Dragon's Maze when the guilds cross streams, so to speak.
Scavenging onto Dimir's multiple unblockable critters. Detaining blockers away for an enormous Bloodrush beating or another cipher trigger. Blistercoil Weird getting a free untap from those cipher triggers. Moving counters off of your Simic Fluxmage onto your opponent's Unleash dude.
I can't wait.
What's the coolest experience you've had so far playing Return to Ravnica or Gatecrash limited?
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